‘Bigs’ and ‘Littles’ find growth in mentoring

EATONTOWN — Simple outings often help form strong bonds that can last for years and change the lives of mentors and the “Littles” they are paired with for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.

“Our relationship is so great, I thoroughly enjoy Ashley’s company,” “Big”

sister) Pamela Callender said. “She has taught me things, I’ve taught her things. It’s a whole new level of caring unconditionally for someone.”

A Big to Ashley for nearly four years, Callender said she has discovered more about herself as a person through her involvement in the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth County (BBBS) mentoring program.

“I can’t even tell you how awesome it is to see the kids with their mentor and just see the happiness between them,” said BBBS Manager of Development Marybeth Bull. “The friendship that’s grown, whether it be for a couple of months or a couple of years, it’s really just a great thing to see. All the work that we put into it, you get to see it and it’s just exciting.”

The Eatontown-based program is a chapter of the Big Brothers Big Sisters national mentoring program. BBBS is seeking mentors like Callender to provide a guiding hand to at-risk children, as part of National Mentoring Month.

As of Jan. 4, BBBS had a list of more than 60 Monmouth County children waiting to be matched with a mentor. In 2009, BBBS served more than 300 children through its mentoring program, the most children served in its history.

“Basically it’s just trying to encourage people to get out there and think about getting involved with somebody that needs their help,” Bull explained. “Anybody can do this. They don’t have to have any money to spend. We want them to just show kids different things. It might be baking cookies at their house, it might be walking in the park, walking their dog, washing their car. Simple fun pleasures that take them (the children) out of their element.”

The goal of the BBBS program is to match a child, who is usually at risk for academic failure, has problems in the home, comes from a lower socioeconomic background or a single-parent household, with a volunteer willing to give a year commitment to one child and see the child once every other week for about an hour or two, Bull explained.

“It’s putting together a well-screened person from the community, an adult over 21 years of age, with a child that has a need for somebody positive to show them the right way in life,” she added.

Volunteers for the mentoring program come from all walks of life and a variety of age groups, Bull said.

“Everybody from older people to college kids and young professionals that are just starting out and have some extra time and want to put some of that time into being with a child and showing them some of what life has to hold for them,” she said.

When successfully paired with a Big, Littles can see huge gains in their personal lives.

“A lot of the time their academics improve just from having somebody spend one-on-one time with them,” Bull said. “They get to see a different world than perhaps that they are used to because a lot of them come from urban areas and … a lot of them are from socioeconomic-challenged areas and homes.”

Callender, who is a sales consultant, said she joined BBBS because of her love for children and a desire to give back to the community in a way that would have an impact on another person’s life.

She and Ashley go to the beach, go iceskating, cook meals and often simply talk to each other about their daily lives.

And it’s not just the Littles who benefit from the program. Callender said she has learned a great deal about herself through her relationship with Ashley.

“In some ways it’s subtle and in some ways its not as subtle,” Callender said. “Being that I’ve been with Ashley for threeand a-half years obviously our relationship has developed. I feel lucky to be able to help mentor somebody who otherwise would not have the kind of positives being shown to them in life.”

For more information about Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth County, call 732-544-2224 or visit bbbsmonmouth.org.